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We have all shattered a glass before, but just because your experiences sound like mine …doesn’t adequately prepare you to understand the size, shape, and location of all the hidden and broken pieces that will unsuspectingly hide in the darkness to potentially assail against either of us when it is least expected. 

It’s human nature to be distracted by the facets (people/situations) that are the shiny surfaces that we bestow our trust. We tend to get so comfortable in what seems familiar, we find ourselves giving leave to our shoes and walking around in our bare-feet. It is then that we feel betrayed by our own perceptions, as we scream out in pain from the shard of glass that just pierced our tender flesh. Then there YOU are, telling me that you know just how I feel. 

 

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The Enigmatic Life of X’s and Y’s

Math

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I’ve put it off because, I wanted my words to be significant. In the past few months, I’ve gotten accolades from many people who’s lives play out in a space that is geographically defined as an entire world away. My having achieved so much notoriety effectuated a need to write at a level that was unrecognizable to me. I felt more responsibility to write at a level at which others may have expected. To sit and write became more about pleasing past readers as opposed to writing for myself in the hope to draw in others. Today, I realized that I was not being true to myself and I should just write something simple to get my footing back and open the door to a spring of new thoughts and ideas. So, I jumped… here is where I landed.

I heard someone say recently (in passing), “people should exist as a transparent eye, allowing that which we see to pass through us as we take in the sights of our environment as they were”. They went on to say, “life is not like math and should not be complicated as such.” I thought to myself, “why are the two things mutually exclusive? We can allow the world around us to pass through us and be unaffected, but how would we truly consider our existing in that type of solitude as living? In the diaspora of life, there is so much that we must resign ourselves to. Understandably, that is one person’s perspective. It is only fitting that I highlight my own, if for none other than myself.

I am appreciative of the things that pass through me, resound with me, and reverberate from from pole to pole. A smile that is the result of the involuntary laughter of a baby, the sudden realization of beauty in a brand-new sunset, being found by the fragrant aroma of wisteria in a crowed and noisy outdoor venue, or the butterflies felt in the pit of your stomach as you speed faster and faster downhill in your newly washed car… with the sunroof opened and finally feeling weightless as you are rocketed to the hill’s crest. The feeling passes through you, leaving a familiar residue in an involuntary facial expression. You’re smiling and the fleeting moment is then captured in your mind’s eye with a final glance in the rear-view mirror.

One must also be appreciative of the things that are equality provocative, but not immediately welcomed. The devolution of a long time friendship through hastily spoken emotions, the final words spoken by a dying parent that ascends to the level of immortality and plays forever in your heart, or the loss of a long-time spouse due to misunderstandings that neither is equipped to make sense of, to finally save each other from equal amounts of ineptitude and regret. We live out our lives with a beating heart that sounds like all others, but upon closer inspection by the discerning, we find a thing that is bruised (black and blue), little bandages in the shape of the letter “X”, tattered gauze, and a sign out front that reads:

“Enter at Your Own Risk”.

I think it important to view life for what it is at its essence. In some cases, it is very much like math. Not the kind of math that is familiar to children, but the kind that is the language of physicists. Often life presents us with problems that bracket our everyday concerns. If we don’t attend to that which is bracketed, by solving the problems first denoted by parenthesis, the variables remain a mystery without any significant value. When things are presented to us as problems, the formulas are within each of our grasps, but arriving at a reasonable conclusion may take up a whole page in our lives (front and back). Often we fool ourselves into thinking, “I I don’t have time for that” by saying it OUT LOUD. The failure to understand the rules (a negative plus a negative can equal a positive) will impede any forward progress, because our way is blocked with random Xs and Ys that are associated with problems of the past that were given to us by people or environments having faces or landscapes we can no longer even recall.

Wisdom Usurped by Values, Red Pill Philosophies (3-6-15)

Having strong value systems allows us to develop a personal and meaningful existence that we can find comfort in. However, the failure to develop a sense of open-mindedness necessitates the creation of an army of little demons or your very own personal devil to battle. Whether your values are informed by what your parents told you, the word of law and/or the Ten Commandments, you are prone to the creation of adversaries. Each individual is a victim of their perceptions and at the mercy of what they can manage to assimilate into their understanding. Knowledge bows to wisdom in the full acceptance of this truth.

6 a.m.

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Thinking of when I last existed beneath you, your lips were pressed against mine. The fruits that were plucked from your bush rests as a honey sweet nectar upon my glistening smile.

HER

HER

The hour grows later and later

A result of tireless minutes ticking by

Her face, her voice, her ethereal frame

Are relentless late night companions

In the darkness of my bedroom

Elusive slumber cowers in the darkness

In a race against a glowing sunrise

I pull the covers high over my head

Alas, I greet the day under the weight of

A trail of restless footsteps across my mind

In a crowded room, I embrace my solitude

From thin air and jumbled thoughts

She materialized in the doorway

In a rush, a cascade of thoughts slam

Against the forefront of my mind

An avalanche of images wash over me

Our eyes meet… I see that she knows

And suddenly she is swept away

Red Pill Philosophies – 11-9-14

For most of my adult life I’ve heard women on three continents express their disdain for the behaviors of “some men”. However, they generalize the behaviors they dislike as a condition that affects ALL men. Nowadays, the same rhetoric is littering the floors and representing itself as graffiti on the walls of social networks. Our precious flowers (women) are exposing their thorns as they learn that the men they are interested in have competing interests with those they idealize. They then become incensed/angry when the man won’t do what they want him to do in order to fit into the box they have prepared for him. They say, “He is not a real man”. The bottom line is: people are just people. Some people have adapted perfectly to conforming to the expected standards of others. Some people are driven by their own personal interests as a way of defining themselves for themselves or believing that is what it takes to live their lives fully or out-loud. We meet people at various intersections in their lives. We don’t know what sights or experiences they were met with on their journey/path before it intersected with yours. Just because you’re ready to take a new route as your journey has suggested for you, doesn’t mean they are ready to follow your lead just yet.

I charge all men and women to carefully discern who they invite on their journey. All the power remains with the individual. If he or she doesn’t “fit” in that moment in time, then let them travel on. They may be ready for your brand of living later in their travels. In the meanwhile, we can’t get angry due to a person taking their finger and poking holes into the walls of the tiny little box made of paper mâché that the other has created for them and demanded they like it (today, tomorrow and forever). Understanding and embracing these truths is how we live an authentic (real) life. These truths are the hymn of the real (authentic) man / woman. This however, does not lend any support to the concept of, “He/She is not doing what I believe he should be doing right now, so he/she is not a real man/woman.” The “Real” men/women should be able to discern the differences for themselves. It is incumbent upon each individual to be responsible for themselves. When you have happiness, don’t choose to give it away to a person not ready to nurture it. Make a different choice.

“Reality is imbedded in the language you chose to use to describe your view of the world.”