For most of my adult life I’ve heard women on three continents express their disdain for the behaviors of “some men”. However, they generalize the behaviors they dislike as a condition that affects ALL men. Nowadays, the same rhetoric is littering the floors and representing itself as graffiti on the walls of social networks. Our precious flowers (women) are exposing their thorns as they learn that the men they are interested in have competing interests with those they idealize. They then become incensed/angry when the man won’t do what they want him to do in order to fit into the box they have prepared for him. They say, “He is not a real man”. The bottom line is: people are just people. Some people have adapted perfectly to conforming to the expected standards of others. Some people are driven by their own personal interests as a way of defining themselves for themselves or believing that is what it takes to live their lives fully or out-loud. We meet people at various intersections in their lives. We don’t know what sights or experiences they were met with on their journey/path before it intersected with yours. Just because you’re ready to take a new route as your journey has suggested for you, doesn’t mean they are ready to follow your lead just yet.
I charge all men and women to carefully discern who they invite on their journey. All the power remains with the individual. If he or she doesn’t “fit” in that moment in time, then let them travel on. They may be ready for your brand of living later in their travels. In the meanwhile, we can’t get angry due to a person taking their finger and poking holes into the walls of the tiny little box made of paper mâché that the other has created for them and demanded they like it (today, tomorrow and forever). Understanding and embracing these truths is how we live an authentic (real) life. These truths are the hymn of the real (authentic) man / woman. This however, does not lend any support to the concept of, “He/She is not doing what I believe he should be doing right now, so he/she is not a real man/woman.” The “Real” men/women should be able to discern the differences for themselves. It is incumbent upon each individual to be responsible for themselves. When you have happiness, don’t choose to give it away to a person not ready to nurture it. Make a different choice.
“Reality is imbedded in the language you chose to use to describe your view of the world.”