I find that I am often the spectator or the participant observer in most conversations that I engaged in. I have found that a riveting conversation that propels me into a place of circumspection or introspection has quickly become my favorite pastime. In many casual conversations I often come across a common theme. I find that men and women often complain about the difficulty in effectively communicating with each other. One side is indicted as one who delves too deeply into a particular point of view or the one who refuses to look beyond the superficial. In either case the end result is most likely an argument (crazy-making debate). Personally, I believe we should spend more effort convincing ourselves that the other has a functional ineptitude that they will grow out of, but our role is to ensure that they don’t cause harm to themselves in the meanwhile.

Research has proven that men and women communicate differently. Men tend to state the facts and share information that has a functional purpose. This is what is referred to a “report talking”. Women on the other hand share in a manner that solicits support, develops the relationship, or relate events of personal importance to polarize the listener toward their own point of view. This is referred to as “rapport-talk”. This dynamic between women often devolve into a type of social misbehavior and conformity with false majority judgments. In the past week, I was having a healthy debate with two women that turned into a verbal joust in which all logic was summarily stamped out. One of women made a comment regarding personal pride. I chose to explain my position and attempted to share an example of what I defined as personal pride while staying within the context of the original subject. Then right before my eyes, those two women were spurred into action by the utterance of “one word” while offering no allegiances to the spirit in which the conversation started. They then preceded to whoop, holler and high-five each other. I could feel the look of shock on my face, as I could not make ANY sense of what was happening in that moment. I quickly stepped back (cognitively) and took a spectator’s point-of-view and I immediately erupted into laughter and exited the room. Neither woman truly understood what I was thinking, but it didn’t matter. I understood my actions enough for the both of them. I also feel that I grew an inch. It didn’t matter whether or not anyone polarized the other toward his or her side of the debate. In my heart of hearts, I knew that tomorrow’s sunrise would breed a renewed reign or error and I would never again be the victim of such folly.

*Disclaimer*

These writings are in no way designed to undermine the perception or quality of those of the female persuasion that fancy themselves a respectable interlocutor. I simply chose a snapshot in time that related to my own experiences to use as fodder for the purpose of perpetuating the development of my experience as a brand-new blogger. I hope that this edition of my publishing choice will serve to generate interesting comments to debate the issue and serve to join both sides in a place I’ll refer to as a yet-to-be discovered common ground.

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3 thoughts on “The Reign of Error…

  1. I agree that men and women share different types of talk when communicating. I enjoyed your writing and want to know what was the topic with the 2 women that had them hi 5’ing that led to you laughing and leaving?! Also what would you say makes men and women communicate successfully, does one change their type of talk or just accept the other sex and continue their communication?

    1. Hi Hmmkiki, the topic of conversation what not anything of substance. It actually all in fun. However, when one wants to come out on top, fairness during along with the rules of engagement go out of the window. Also, to answer your other question… I believe men and women can communicate better by simply deciding to approach each situation from a point of neutrality. We open debate for the purpose of winning over the other party’s allegiance. When we choose to approach an issue with a one-sided point of view the gloves come off when we realize we’re losing ground. Yes, we’re different animals (men and women), but we can’t allow chromosomes to decide how well we relate to each other. Listening is actually all that is required.

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